Why I’m Here

When I was first diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 5 years ago, I went looking for people to relate to. I joined some Facebook groups, followed people on Instagram and read some blogs, but I was coming up empty. The brave people sharing their stories were inspiring to see but I wasn’t able to really get in tune with what they were saying because I had not experienced what they had. Bipolar is such a complex disorder, many of us experience it differently by having mild to severe episodes. I had read people who had experienced the worst of the worst and made it through but it just wasn’t reaching me the way I needed it to.

I decided I needed to remove myself from these groups and take time to figure this disorder out for myself. Now, 5 years later, I’m ready to share what I have learned and what I want to learn more about.

In the coming weeks, months, maybe years (who knows how long this will go on), I plan to write about bad experiences and how I overcame them or plan to overcome them, the good experiences, learn and share about health and fitness and the benefits it has for your brain and moods, talk about how Bipolar has effected me and what it really is. I wish I could sit and write about just some simple mood swings but there is more to it than that.

I want to be a blog people can go to for some kind of support, information and hopefully be there for someone to relate to. I want to be the blog I wish I could have gone to when I was first diagnosed. If I can help at least one person, my work here is done, nothing would make me happier.

It is almost a relief to be sitting here and even doing this. I have played with the idea for a couple of years now and even started one, many many moons ago, about my lovely dysfunctional family. I was basically sitting there ranting about how shitty life was but nothing came of it.

This time I feel different. I’ve been sitting on the idea long enough, I love to write, and I need to make a change in my life. Lately I have been listing to inspirational podcasts that are always reminding me that it’s now of never, so the other day I said “Fuck it! I’m just going to run with this.” 

In the last couple months I started thinking about that I wanted to write, how I wanted this to look and what to call it. It’s almost embarrassing to say how long it took for me to pick a name, that was THE hardest part. It took fucking weeks! About a week ago, after being moody one day, I thought to myself “I am such a raging bitch today” Then it clicked! Bipolar Bitch! Well there’s a blog in Chicago called “Life of a Bipolar Bitch,” so I was disappointed that I couldn’t use it. Then I remembered I like to call people biotch’s sometimes and BAM, there came the name, the look was easy to do and now here I am.
In the end, I hope I can be a voice for people who struggle with mood disorders. All I want to do is help. With all the awareness these days about depression and anxiety, I feel people with more complex disorders are being left in the dark. So fuck that shit, I’m going to be nice and loud so people don’t forget about us and start to notice and understand us as well.

I’m excited to use this as a therapeutic outlet and to also learn new things, test drive what I learn about (on myself), tell you about my life and grow with you. I  hope you stick with me on this journey through the good, the bad and the ugly. So lets move on to some ugly shit because I know that’s what you came for.


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