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What A Shame, To Judge A Life You Can’t Change.

What a great age to live in. I can spread awareness for Mental Illness right from the comfort of my own home. That is one of the great things about social media. It offers convenience, so many opportunities, so much information at our finger tips! Which makes me wonder… Why then, don’t people use it to educate themselves on Mental Health and Medication to End The Stigma that we are fucking plagued with?!?!

Unfortunately, social media has become a trigger for me. (shocking I know, I’m on it everyday lol). There is so much cruelty, people jumping to conclusions, so many uneducated opinions and all the entitlement… the ridiculous amount of fucking entitlement!

We live in an age where everybody has something to say about everything but have little to zero knowledge on what they are even talking about. Then we go and base our self-worth on how many likes or comments we get and if we are not satisfied, it leads to us going to the next extreme (like eating fucking Tide Pods for example… J/K) or leads to Anxiety and Depression. We do all this at the expense of our Mental Health just so we can get attention from people we don’t even know or really even care for. We live in an age where we neglect what is around us for a few minutes of fame, a few minutes of satisfaction, just to do it over and over again. It has become a vicious cycle that we put ourselves in, even though we know it will never fill us up where we need to be full. At the end of the day, it is really just a cry for help.

Not only is our self-worth being put out to the dogs to be chewed up and spit out but we are showing a part of ourselves on social media that we would never show to the real world otherwise. We have become cruel and insensitive to everything around us. We are being mean just to gain attention, regardless of who it affects or HOW it affects someone. We are speaking to people as if they know nothing and we know everything. We are only wanting to be heard and listened to, but nobody wants to fucking listen. It makes me fucking sick. Literally, makes my heart hurt.

Do not think for a second that I am sitting here and portraying that I am not guilty of this. 100% I have been a “troll” on social media, I am well aware (most of us have at some point.. get real). But I have recognized it, owned up to it, I have grown the fuck up and I have stopped. I used to be someone with plenty of built up anger (still am working on that) and I would lash out on undeserving people to get that little amount of satisfaction because I, for a split second, thought I was better than them and I taught them a lesson. I am NOT better than anyone other than who I was yesterday, I only taught myself a lesson and I contributed to this sick part of society. The reality was, I could have contributed to someone hating themselves even more, contributed to them crying at night, contributed to them wanting to fucking KILL themselves, and that…… THAT breaks my fucking heart.

The point is we are letting these uneducated people tell us who we are. We are letting these people make us feel ashamed and letting them silence us. We are letting them get into our heads to the point that we almost believe them. We are letting them put labels on us, blame us for mass shootings (in the U.S, only 3-5% of violent acts are done by people who have a mental illness – American Journal of Psychiatry in 2015) and letting their voices be louder then ours!

People who have and continue to contribute to the Mental Health Stigma are telling us (Mental Health Warriors) to be ashamed of who we are and to be ashamed for getting help... How ironic. It seems clear to me that they are the ones who need help. 

To My Mental Health Warriors:

In order for us to make the world a better place, it starts with making yourself a better person. So I wanted to send out a thank you to each and every person who has ever gone to get help with their Mental Illness. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for contributing to making the world a more peaceful one to live in. I want you to know to never let anyone make you feel ashamed for doing just that. We need to understand that these struggling human beings who talk about us with such hatred have chosen us, thinking that we are weak (Boy are they wrong!). We must help them understand that it is okay to open up and get help, because they clearly have inner demons that they are fighting with just like we do. We must not fight back with the same cruelty, but with kindness and empathy. We must be the change we want to see in the world. We must be the change we want to see in Ending the Stigma. When people are being awful, it really is just showing you that you are not the issue, it lies with THEM. Let their awful words roll off our backs, the less attention we give them, the less noise they will make.

For the Mental Health Warriors who have shared their stories, be LOUDER, be PROUDER! Discuss your journey with courage and strength. Be open about your struggles and how you have and continue to heal from them. Do not sugar coat anything! Lets show them our darkest days and also show them our brightest to prove that we can overcome anything thrown at us. Show them what they can do for the for themselves one day. Show them hate and unkindness is not the reason we are here today, but it is because of self-love and finding true happiness.

For the Mental Health Warriors who have yet to come out from the shadows, take your time but know that it is safe and that you are not alone. I want you to know that it is okay to seek help, there are so many resources and people who want to help you (even email me if you need someone to listen or talk to). Helping yourself is the best thing you can ever do, YOU ARE #1. Who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks! It really is SO beautiful and courageous to be able to stand against your demons so you can be a happier and healthier person. Many people are too afraid to do it. Stop letting fear and judgement control your life. Stop giving a fuck what anyone thinks of you!

To the the Friends and Families:

Our loved ones who have been affected, thank you for standing by and being strong when your loved ones were struggling with something you will never understand. Thank you for never giving up on us, even when we had given up on ourselves. Thank you for showing us what true love is when we struggled with giving you love in return. Thank you for giving us a reason to wake up every single day. Thank you for loving us when we have trouble loving ourselves. 

For the people who don’t understand:

Open your mind and learn… LEARN before opening your mouth. You may never fully understand our struggles and in many ways I hope you don’t have to. Many of us have a history of mental, physical, sexual and emotional abuse, I don’t wish that upon anyone. Some of us have just been unfortunate to have it in our genes. We did not ask for this. We do not want to do this for attention. We did not fucking WANT this. Some days I wish I could be normal (whatever that may be) but I know at the end of the day, I am much stronger because of the way I am. I am stronger because I wake up every fucking day, knowing I have to deal with this regardless of the cruel words and judgments people make, regardless of whether or not I am able to get out of bed, regardless of my responsibilities… I wake up every fucking day and I fucking WIN. 

We need to remember we are all human. Don’t base your life on what you see people portray on social media and don’t go spewing hatred and bullshit. Everyone has a fucking story, every one has something they are dealing with. Work on yourself, for yourself, to be your one true self. Stand taller, Speak louder, Smile Bigger and Be kinder. We are all in this crazy, fucked up life together. Lets make it not as fucked up! We need get rid of this feeling of entitlement that lots of people seem to think they have now, to be honest, you are not fooling anyone. We need to come back at hateful comments with empathy and understanding, do not add fuel to the fire. Ending the Stigma on Mental Health STARTS with people recognizing that their negative ways are a sign that they have some deep rooted issues THEY need to address. Then it ENDS with US, the Mental Health Warriors, showing everyone we are kind, we are some of the strongest people they will ever meet, we are not all the rumors people have made up about us, we are BEAUTIFUL, we are resilient and best of all… We are role models for people who have yet to come to terms with getting help (even if they don’t have a mental illness), we are role models for people who are getting help, we are role models to each other to keep going. We need to no longer be silenced. The quieter we are, the more opportunity we give them to put words in our mouths. We need to drown them out and speak our truths and struggles. 

We need to bring awareness not just for Depression and Anxiety but for

BIPOLAR DISORDER

SCHIZOPHRENIA

BORDER LINE PERSONALITY DISORDER

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER

BULIMIA AND ANOREXIA (EATING DISORDERS)

POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION

DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS

ADDICTION

POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER

PREMENSTRUAL DYSPHORIC DISORDER

AND SO MANY MORE

We ALL deserve to be heard. We ALL deserve to be seen. We come in all shapes, colors, sizes, ages, religions, occupations… you name it. We are fucking everywhere… stop making us have to hide. Be more understanding. Be kind. We are not going anywhere and we will NOT be silenced any longer because well…..

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