I hope everyone has been doing great!! I have been, for the most part.
Some of you may have seen on my personal FB page that I was going to go on a tear BUT my wonderful hubby talked me down and told me not to let it get under my skin. My interpretation… Don’t waste your time on shitty people. Which is true. I need to focus my time and energy on healing, my family, and my true friends. I could go on ranting about how inconsiderate these people are but at the end of the day, they are who they are and my hurt feelings won’t change any of that. So on to better and bigger things!!!
As my monthly credit monitoring email says, “No news is good news!” How this relates to me… I have no news on my moods! I am soooooo happy that my moods have been stable considering what I have been through. Losing my fingers and this long-ass healing process should have triggered a meltdown by now. I was sensitive for a few days and had 1 day where I was moody but turned out mother nature came a knockin’ and it was just PMS (Yay -_-) and then I was slapped with a deadly cold. So this week has been rough but still staying positive!
Ever since the accident I have noticed that I have developed a 0 tolerance for bullshit. It has really woken me up to what is important in life; my happiness, my stepdaughter, my hubby, my family and my friends. Which I mentioned in my last post, but now I find myself in situations where my first thought is, is this a stress for me? Does this help me in anyway? And if the answer is no, then I remove myself from the situation and/or remove the people from my life and move on my marry way. The only reason I let a couple recent encounters get the best of me, is because I was tricked into thinking these people actually cared about my well-being but they had selfish motives I only became aware of recently. Since this change within myself has happened, I’ve noticed life just flows more fluently now. My only frustration is the healing process of my hand, I want to be 100% because my mind and body feel that way… but I know my hand will take time to catch up and I am constantly having to remind myself that. I need to trust the process…
Trusting the process is something that has really resonated with me lately. I wish I could have told myself this a couple years ago when my relationship/life was falling apart. I was constantly obsessing about what I didn’t have, about a future that was completely different from what I was living, I was thinking that the path I was on was not the right one. I wish someone would have shook me and said “Trust the process, damn it! Settle your little mind down!” I’m very thankful for my lovely hubby not giving up on me/us because life has such an ease to it now. I think back and I remember being so hung up on the thought that I was not supposed to be where I was. I was supposed to be doing better, I was supposed to be married and having babies, I was supposed to be in a more fancy job, I was supposed to have my life together. I now see, I was exactly where I was supposed to be so I could learn everything I know now. I now see that you need to trust the process, trust the path you are on. All the shit I have gone through, were life lessons and gave me a new appreciation for life now. Even this past week, I have come to a 100% decision on what I’m going to go back to school for. I was always searching different courses and was so indecisive but a few days ago it just hit me… this is what I want to do. Before, I was forcing myself to choose but life was showing me that it wasn’t time to make that important decision so that’s why I could never set my mind to anything. My boyfriend and I discussed it and agreed right now I need to focus on healing and then next year I will start my part-time classes. I was just so shocked how it came to me, how concrete it was, and so relieved and that’s when I started to notice how life works.
This year has been an eye-opener for me. I see how my friends and I have gone through our hardships/bad relationships/feelings of loss and chaos and I see how things are falling into place for them and now for myself. There are marriages, new careers, new beautiful beginnings and clarity. I’m seeing how life has a way of making sure things work out. I could burst with excitement for them and am thankful to be able to be on the side lines cheering them on.
I want anyone who is reading this right now and struggling in some part of their life to know… you must go with the flow. Life is going to give you hardships to overcome, but they are there because there is a lesson you need to learn from it. Things will work out in the end. You just gotta power through the bad days and make sure you have your heart in the right place.
Appreciate everything you have now.
Don’t jeopardize your own happiness for others.
Get out and get some fresh air.
Slow down and smell the fucking roses.