Not much new to update on other than I’m still busy as hell. I’m beginning to have a love hate relationship with the fast lane. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t super stoked for September… I know, I know… It’s awful to say that because we have such awful winters here in the ‘Peg, but I’m just POOPED. The only thing keeping me going is having a day here and there for me to do a quick recharge, unfortunately, I’m starting the feel that even those are becoming not enough. I need a weekend of doing nothing… which I will have September 7th weekend. -_-
On the other hand, I hate complaining because I LOVE spending time with my friends and family. I appreciate every moment I am with them and when I am actual with them, I don’t feel as tired or feel the need to be at home locked away from everyone. It’s when I get home after I’ve drained the batteries that I feel tired… at home is where all the responsibilities are and the shit that’s not fun that you gotta do, hahaaha. For example, this morning, I should have went to the gym, cleaned the house, did some grocery shopping and brushed my cat. Instead, I sprawled my naked ass out across my new sheets and slept until almost 11. I woke up with an evil voice in my head making me feel like shit for not doing what I should have done but I told that voice to “Shut the fuck up!” and enjoyed a long shower then got ready for work in a daze because I slept almost 12 hours. Haha!
That’s the thing lots of people need to learn to do in this fast paced life. There is always going to be shit to do but you have to remember there are times when you need to choose what is important and what can wait. My house, the food, my fucking beer belly needed to wait today because I knew if I didn’t, I could be at risk for burning out. Today was one of my recharge days, and I have to take full advantage of these when I have them. Having Bipolar makes me have to be even more careful than the average human because burning out can sometimes look like depression or it can look like mania, and we don’t want either of those!!
That being said, I’m still happily stable (so exciting). As I continue being this way, I can’t help but be extra attentive towards my moods. Stable this long can mean a big dive or big jump could be right around the corner OR I’m just at a good point in my life, my mind set has changed and what is important to me has changed so maybe that was what I needed to be how I am now. Who the fuck knows. I’m going to try to relax and enjoy this while I can and keep myself in good health mentally.
And also, those of you without mental health issues… THIS IS HOW YOU FEEL ALL THE TIME!!!!! YOU LUCKY MOTHER FUCKERS! LOL
Anyway, that’s all for today.
I hope everyone is killing it this summer and having a fucking blast.
Lots of love.