I’m pretty sure I’ve gained a minimum of 5lbs in the last month. I have a belly (like I’m 7 months preggo), my boobs are getting too big for my bra (My boyfriend don’t mind), bat wings, thighs are getting bigger, and my face is a bit rounder. My clothes are starting to get tight and can’t wear some anymore. I’m eating foods I used to LOVE and would not dare TOUCH when I’m eating healthier. I’ve joined my boyfriend in his late night snacking… Chips and Dads Goodie Rings in bed… I’m drinking beer with clam like it’s going out of style. I have noticed my health on a bit of decline relating to my heart (more chest pains), I’m almost always bloated, getting stomach aches and I have severe acne. Surprisingly….
I’ve never been happier.
If this is what needed to happen for me to be stable and have the best summer of my life. I’ll take it. No regrets.
I even said to my boyfriend “I hope you still love me even if I’ve gained a little weight” He of course does and I know my stepdaughter does too. They both don’t care how round I get, as long as I’m around for them.
In September, when life will finally slow down, I’ll be back in the gym. I decided I wanted to just enjoy anything and everything this summer. I didn’t want to stress about what I’m eating or if I didn’t get up on time for the gym or if I even missed a gym day. Fitness fanatics will see this as excuses and plain stupid but I quite frankly don’t give a fuck lol. I’m just your average joe blow and I do what makes ME happy and keeps ME stable. Once September rolls around, I’ll be taking a laid back approach at first, compared to what I’m used to. I want to enjoy getting up, enjoy going to the gym and enjoy starting my day that early. I want to enjoy eating healthy and not stress about it (Fuck calorie counting). I’m going to quit drinking for a few months (I’ve done this before, always lose weight in my face first, damn alcohol lol) and see how long I can go. I want to enjoy getting to my goal and enjoy the climb it takes to get there. People don’t reach their goals because they don’t enjoy the process. I want to reach my goal. I’m happy now, my body is not stopping me from wearing a 2 piece. (Hell No to 1 piece tan lines), I’ll strut my stuff and have my belly plunk around as I have fun… but I would like to feel more confident when wearing it and not have the extra baggage. Haha. I probably would never let my weight stop me. This “I don’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks” thing I have going on has been life changing.
So until September, I’m going to get the beer in my belly and the drunk grin on my face while I ask for a second round of dessert.
Make the best of the few days we have left of summer.