Blog, Poetry

Dream Chaser

The Jazz flows, enveloping me in silk. My eyes close as a smile tickles my cheeks. I surrender completely. The music dances around me and it is then I realize, happiness comes in many different forms… my most favored is when it is entangled with music.

I am sitting cross-legged in my living room, Jazz quietly playing in the background, an empty breakfast bowl litters the coffee table and I am alone. The house is otherwise quiet. It’s in this moment I realize the importance of spending time at home, undisturbed, and with myself. I feel a flame burn brighter in the depths of my chest which is a reminder that, as of late, I am on the right path.

I have decided to challenge myself with a new project. One of my goals this year is to create more “Me Time” and what a better way to do that by remodeling our spare room to create a space for myself. My boyfriend has the garage, my stepdaughter has her room and the rest of the house is usually occupied with someone or some type of distraction. I want my space to feel open, clean, comfortable and surrounded by what I love. It needs to be a place where I can be vulnerable and feel safe doing so. This space is going to be a place where my creativity will not only openly flow, but be surrounded by inspiration. I say challenge because remodeling is not something I am passionate about. The challenge will be finding what speaks to me and what works to bring not only my vision to life, but the ambiance as well. What I am looking forward to most is, learning even more about myself.

This space will give me the recharge that I need but always fail to fuel. For years, this has been a goal of mine but one I considered only to be selfish so I thought it could wait. It is now I see that it’s anything but selfish. Making sure I am there for my friends and family, and that they are happy, has always been a priority for me. I can not be there for them if I am not able to be fully present because I am drained. “Me Time” is needed not just for me to recharge and relax, it’s there so I can continue to show up for the people I love.

But what initially sparked the idea to do this is a dream that I have had since I was 8 or so. A passion that has become too loud to ignore any longer. I want to write. I want to learn how to write better, learn different creative techniques, take classes, write different styles, learn about authors, study them, be influenced by them, make mistakes, grow, and create. Since I began writing at a young age, I was constantly told that I had a gift, but given the shit show of my life – I never believed them. Since I have found my way back to my passion, those words finally settle into my mind. Now, my drive continues to be fueled by my readers and people I look up to who now have given me the green light I needed. It’s time. It’s time to do what I love.

This room will be where I get ready in the mornings, where I get lost in my music, where I journal, where I find inspiration through art and quotes posted around me, where I get lost in books in my reading nook, and most importantly, where I sit at my desk in front of the window and write.

This space will be where the magic happens.

This is where I will become a writer. ❤

x0



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