Wow. What a crazy time we live in right now! I would have never imagined something like this would happen in my life time, I bet most of you feel the same. Now we know that those Dooms Day Preppers were onto something LOL.
I have been staying home, only shopping when I need to and being even more diligent with my hygiene(my hands are so dry) and wiping areas I’ve touched in public (mostly work). I try not to focus on the topic too much but I will say this, practice good hand-washing techniques, remember your social distancing, and stay home as much as you can. If you are having any issues with anxiety, try just listening to your local news so that you are still informed on the situation around you. Lets just try to make the best of a weird situation. Enjoy your family, hobbies, games, chores or be like me… and be a lazy piece of shit eating anything and everything. Do what ever makes you happy!
So 3 weeks ago, I had given a mini update on how life had been going and was going to let you in on what was happening. Well… The storm has calmed and I’m ready to SPILLL! Get them tea cups ready!
The exciting news, which was the result of the anxiety, chaos and clarity is… I started a new job this week! How this new job came to be is what was stressful, mind-blowing and meant to be. Let me start with a little bit of a back story. I was not happy at my previous job for a couple years now, it was a dead end job, lacked structure and had poor management. I found myself wanting to still grow and learn more but unfortunately I had outgrown my place there. I started looking for a new job here and there, not very seriously but applying to anything that seemed somewhat appealing. This year, I made it my goal to finally get a new job but to only apply at ones that had potential for growth, ones that I could make a career out of. I started to tell myself if I didn’t hear from any of them, it was just not meant to be – the old me would have been frustrated and I would have blamed myself over a list of shortcomings that don’t even exist.
It was the 2nd last week in February when I came across some very unsettling news at my work, news that wasn’t supposed to get back to me… news that could have had very very bad consequences. Due to the nature of it and the parties involved, I have to be vague. Regardless, it was shit. At first I laughed it off because of the pure ridiculousness of it. As the days went on, the news began to boil inside me as I started to realize how not funny it was. I finally made a decision that was completely out of character for me, I told the appropriate management that needed to know to cover my fucking ass. They were shocked to say the least.
Now if you have been reading my blog for a while, you will know why that was out of character to do the responsible thing. I am someone who is so reactive and never thinks about the damage until it is done, I will raise hell even before I have all the facts straight. Another thing I did that was out of character was that I sat on it for a week before making a calculated decision. Again, I am reactive and make rash decisions in the moment. These 2 changes in my ways of dealing with a stressful situation speaks volumes on how far I have come. All the healing, personal development and growth I have been working so hard on over the years has started to pay off. And I was about to see for myself that what you put out into the world, is what you get back.
2 days after telling management what was going on, I got a call for an interview at a growing, successful business. I then waited 2 days to call back because I was struggling with: if I was making the right decision, not screwing over my work and how our evening shift would get covered because my coworker was going on a month trip. I discussed with my boyfriend my inner struggles and he reminded me, “They don’t give a shit about you, stop giving a shit about them.” And so I did something I never do, I thought about myself for once not caring what the consequences would be. I called back and booked an interview for the following Tuesday. Here’s the crazy part! My coworker comes to work that afternoon to inform us that the trip had been postponed! I almost fell off my chair!
Tuesday, I went for the interview. I was experiencing anxiety because I don’t do well with big life changes and stressful situations and those 2 weeks I was getting a double dose. I felt the interview went well and it helped that my, now new, boss was super easy going. I didn’t get a call the next day, or the next and I had started to give up. I reminded myself what I said from the beginning, if it doesn’t happen it wasn’t meant to be and move on. On the 3rd day I got a call in the afternoon that I got the job. The following Monday, I handed in my 2 weeks.
My previous job wanted me to stay and I honestly considered it for a few moments. I met a lot of fun people, I learnt most of what I know there, I knew my job very well and so I had a bit of an attachment. But then I remembered the recent incident and my previous unhappiness and I knew that the incident that happened was a sign. A sign that told me it was finally time to move on, start the next chapter in my life.
So far my new job has been great, only 3 days but I already feel comfortable there. It’s strange really. It could be because I am coming into this job a very different person compared to previous jobs. I am happy, confident, outgoing, I bring experience and am keeping an open mind. All this comes from my stability and the hard work I have put in bettering myself over the years. I am confident I made the right decision.
Through all the stress and chaos this month and to top it with this pandemic, I have come out of it still stable, still calm.
And even though I was a believer in Karma before, I now have seen it truly at work.
Be good ❤